How to Help Children Cope with a Move

Common Moves for Children

Not all children will experience a move in their lifetime. However, there are several reasons why some children do. Sometimes, a child may have to move to a new home, whether within their current city or to a new city, a different state, or another county. Another common reason for a move is changing schools, which can also occur within their current city or a new city, state, or county. Additionally, another reason why children may have to move is because they are a part of military families who may have to relocate multiple times, both within the country and internationally (Ehmke et al., 2024). 

Challenges Associated with Moves 

Making a move, whether big or small, can be challenging for children. They may experience stress due to the uncertainty of what the future holds for them. Some children may protest the move, reluctant to go because of their fears or worries. Moving away from family and friends can be especially difficult, as it may result in a sense of loss or break in current friendships. Children may also experience anxiety about the new environment, such as the challenges of starting a new school, joining new peer groups (e.g., difficulties fitting in or developing new friendships), and experiencing grief related to the transition. Additional challenges can include developing signs of depression, irritability, or an increase in problem behaviors (American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 2017; Ehmke et al., 2024; Lightfoot, 2023; Lock, 2020; Positive Parenting Solutions, n.d.).

Tips for Parents to Help Children and Adolescents Move

When going through a move, there are several things that parents or caregivers can do to ease the transition. Before the move, parents can involve their children as much as possible in the process. This might include having open discussions that involve listening to and validating their child’s concerns (e.g., discussing fears, worries, excitements, etc.). Parents can also walk through the new spaces with their child, such as showing photos or videos of the new home or school, or even visiting the new locations beforehand (when possible). Additionally, parents can try to make the move more enjoyable by allowing the child to design their new room, pick out their new school supplies, or engage in other fun activities (American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 2017; Ehmke et al., 2024; Lightfoot, 2023; Lock, 2020; Positive Parenting Solutions, n.d.). 

Similar to the preparations before the move, there are several things parents can do to help with the transition once the move has taken place. This may include setting time aside for family activities or open discussions and maintaining routines as much as possible. Parents and children can get involved in community or school activities to help establish connections. Additionally, parents can encourage communication with family and friends from their previous environment, whether from school or home (American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 2017; Ehmke et al., 2024; Lightfoot, 2023; Lock, 2020; Positive Parenting Solutions, n.d.). 

Tips for Clinicians to Help Children and Adolescents Move

There are some things that clinicians can do to help children and adolescents cope with a move. Similar to the tips for parents, clinicians can encourage open communication with the child about the move. This can include having open discussions that involve listening to and validating their concerns. Clinicians can work with parents to help establish a plan for the move. Clinicians can also teach or utilize coping strategies or interventions to help children work through feelings associated with major life changes (e.g. Trails to Wellness, etc.). Finally, clinicians should hold space for discussions about options for continued treatment, whether it is to continue with their current clinician or find a new support team in their new location. 

Conclusion

Children and adolescents may or may not experience a move during their lifetime. In the event that a child has to experience a move, it is important for parents and clinicians to find effective ways to help children cope with the transition. Although not an extensive list, this blog offers tips for parents and clinicians to support children during the transition.

References

American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. (2017). Moving: Helping children cope. 

American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry.  https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Children-And-Family-Moves-014.aspx 

Ehmke, R., Ehmke, R., Howard, J. (2024). Advice for moving with children. How to make a stressful time easier. Child mind Institute.  https://childmind.org/article/advice-for-moving-with-children/

Lightfoot, L. (2023). How to talk to kids about a big move. PBS Kids For Parents. https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-a-big-move 

Lock, C. (2020). How to help kids cope with moving. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/13/parenting/moving-tips-kids.html 

Positive Parenting Solutions. (n.d.). “We’re moving?!” 7 tips to help kids thrive during a move. Positive Parenting Solutions. https://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/tips-to-help-kids-thrive-during-a-move/