Masking Autism at School

What is Masking? 

Masking is a strategy used by many autistic individuals, as well as others who are neurodivergent, to consciously or unconsciously appear non-autistic or to hide their traits in an effort to fit in. It can serve  both as a coping mechanism and a way to avoid discrimination or judgment. Essentially, masking involves adjusting or suppressing aspects of oneself to align with social norms, often at the cost of one’s own well-being (National Autism Society, 2024).

Two quotes from neurodivergent individuals highlight the experience of masking. One person describes it as a “hypervigilance for and constant adaptation to the preferences and expectations of people around you,” while another describes it as “tightly controlling and adjusting how you express yourself based on the real or anticipated reactions of others, both in the moment and over time” (National Autism Society, 2024). These quotes illustrate how masking is not just about changing behaviors, but also managing emotional responses and interactions with others.

Why do People Mask?

For many neurodivergent individuals, masking is a common experience, especially for those seeking acceptance. While it may appear helpful in the short term, it can be mentally and emotionally exhausting. This constant adaptation and suppression can take a toll on one’s mental health, sense of self, and sometimes even hinder access to proper diagnoses or services.

Some common forms of masking include: mirroring the facial expressions of others, forcing eye contact despite discomfort, adjusting speech patterns and intonation, suppressing self-stimulatory behaviors (like hand-flapping), and hiding or downplaying one’s true interests and feelings (National Autism Society, 2024). These behaviors stem from a desire to avoid discrimination or judgment and to blend in with the people around them.

Masking in School

Masking is especially prevalent in schools, where social pressures are high and the need to fit in is often most intense. As children get older, the pressure to conform increases, and many feel compelled to mask their autistic traits even more. Kids often report that their goal is simply to blend in and avoid standing out. Examples of this include doodling or rocking to resist obsessive thoughts, picking at nails instead of flapping hands, pretending to follow conversations when they have trouble understanding, and using prepared scripts for expected social situations (Henry Ford Health Staff, 2023).

Within the group of children who mask at school, studies have shown that girls and women are more likely to engage in this behavior. This may be linked to their inclination to form friendships and social connections (Stanborough, 2021). Interestingly, while masking can be a way to cope, some children thrive not because they are masking, but due to the routine and structure that school provides, especially those on the autism spectrum (Arky, 2021).

One of the most significant concerns for families of neurodivergent children who mask at school is the emotional dysregulation that often occurs at home. Many parents notice that their child behaves well at school with no complaints from teachers, but once home, they experience meltdowns or intense emotional outbursts. This phenomenon may be linked to the exhausting nature of masking.

Effects of Masking

Masking may offer short-term relief and acceptance, but it often leads to increased rates of depression and anxiety (Stanborough, 2021). The constant effort to monitor, suppress, and adjust one’s authentic self creates a conflict between the need for self-expression and the pressure to conform, which can negatively affect mental health (Neff, n.d.). Over time, this can cause a child to feel a decreased sense of self, which often manifests as emotional outbursts when they return to a “safe space” like home (Arky, 2021).

This is sometimes referred to as the “coke bottle effect” (Phipps, n.d.).  Imagine waking up as an unshaken bottle of soda; each moment of the day that requires a person to suppress or mask a part of themselves adds a little more shake to the bottle. By the time the individual returns home, the pressure has built up, and they finally release it in a place where they feel comfortable, leading to what might appear as a meltdown or emotional explosion. A mother of a child with OCD explained this experience, saying, “I felt often that he was just looking for a way to release all the built-up tension” (Arky, 2021).

As a psychologist at the Child Mind Institute once said, “Sometimes kids come home, and it’s like when you take off your shoes and feel some sense of relief”—a feeling of not having to mask anymore in a safe space (Arky, 2021). For families and caregivers, it’s important to allow children time to decompress after school. This means offering a period with fewer demands so the child can relax and process the day’s experiences. Ideally, collaboration and open communication between home and school can help identify strategies and sensory accommodations that can support the child in both environments.

How to Support People who Mask

Ultimately, the most significant way to support neurodivergent individuals—whether at school, at home, or in the community—is through education. By promoting environments that embrace neurodiversity and uniqueness, we can reduce the societal pressures that lead to masking and create spaces where neurodivergent individuals can express themselves authentically and feel accepted.

 

References

Arky, B. (2021). Why Are Kids Different at Home and at School. Child Mind Institute. https://childmind.org/article/kids-different-home-school/ 

‌Henry Ford Health Staff. (2023). Autism Masking Is Common. Here’s How To Recognize And Offer Support. Www.henryford.com. https://www.henryford.com/blog/2023/04/autism-masking 

National Autistic Society. (2024). Masking. Www.autism.org.uk. https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/masking

‌Neff, M. (n.d.). What is Masking in Autism? Autistic Masking Explained. Insights of a Neurodivergent Clinician. https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/what-is-masking-in-autism Phipps, M. (n.d.).

Masking and the coke bottle effect. Positively PDA. https://www.positivelypda.co.uk/blog/masking-and-the-coke-bottle-effect

‌Stanborough, R. J. (2021). Understanding Autism Masking and Its Consequences. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/autism/autism-masking#effects