January 6, 2023
Self-Care Strategies and Resources
By: Nora Chen, MSW Intern and Janelle Schenk, LLMSW
Why do we need self-care?
Our world is changing rapidly and there are a lot of stresses and challenges in our daily lives. Paying attention to self-care allows us to identify what feeling unwell looks like for ourselves and enables us to maintain a healthy mind and body, make informed decisions, and build up mutual relationships. Having healthy self-care strategies can help our brain develop strong beneficial connections and build resilience when facing stress.
Self-care is a very broad concept and involves everything about taking care of ourselves, including hygiene, exercise, and emotions. When it comes to emotional self-care, it is important to take time to understand our emotions and find a healthy balance between pleasant and unpleasant feelings.
In order to better set goals for our emotional self-care system, the first thing we can do is understand our feelings. This includes both our physical and emotional feelings, as our bodies and emotions affect each other. For example, if we feel anxious, our heart beats faster and our blood pressure rises; if we get sick, our mood could be low or frustrated. These together will affect how we react to the stress and challenges we face every day. Therefore, identifying both our body’s reactions and our emotions is important to find the most suitable strategies to support our overall well-being.
Physical signs that our body may be under stress:
- Rapid heartbeat
- Headache
- Stomachache
- Lack of energy
- Decreased concentration
- Body aches and pain
- Fatigue
Patterns of behavior (often unhealthy coping strategies) that may indicate we are experiencing stress or an intense emotion:
- Oversleeping
- Overeating
- Mindless TV/YouTube watching
- Taking it out on others
- Ignoring chores
- Procrastination
- Using alcohol, smoking, or drugs
Note: People with ASD and/or ADHD could experience executive function difficulties that may look similar to the behaviors on this list. It might be difficult to organize your daily activities but it doesn’t mean your body is under stress. Therefore, more observations and self-awareness are needed to distinguish how your body reacts to intense emotions. More about organization and time management can be found here.
What does self-care look like?
Step 1: Check in with your body
When we’re experiencing intense emotions, we easily forget our basic needs. Start checking in with your body by asking the following questions:
- Did I have a good sleep last night?
- Have I been eating regularly and healthily?
- Did I drink enough? (water, tea, juice, and milk are all great options)
- Have I done any exercise for more than half an hour in the past three days? (it doesn’t have to be a workout – walks are a great option too)
- Have I gone out and enjoyed the sunlight for at least 10 minutes in the past three days?
- Does my body feel clean and comfortable?
If ‘no’ appears in your answers, then try to make it up to your body first. Often, when you complete the checklist to satisfy your body, your feelings will become better too.
Step 2: Build up your toolbox
Everyone’s needs are different. Try different strategies to find out the most helpful for you and create your own toolkit for self-care. Studies have shown that when the same neural connections are repeatedly used, they are strengthened. New neural connections are created when we try healthy coping skills to deal with emotional difficulties. With consistent practice, the connection becomes stronger and our resilience to emotional difficulties are built.
Here are some examples of tools, skills, and strategies you can add to your toolbox:
- Set up routines – Having a regular routine can help us find a sense of control
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- For caregivers: helping your child maintain a regular time of waking up, eating, and sleeping can provide them a sense of stability and safety.
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- Healing touch/hugs with people you trust – Physical touch can produce the bonding hormone oxytocin (Oxytocin: The love hormone – Harvard Health). Exercise and singing in a group can also produce oxytocin.
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- Deep breathing
- Reducing Stress Through Deep Breathing (1 of 3) (Start from 1:33)
- Muscle relaxation
- Reduce Stress through Progressive Muscle Relaxation (3 of 3) (Start from 1:58 )
- Getting quality sleep (more detailed instruction: Quality sleep checklist )
- Yoga
- For relaxation and for beginners (10 minute yoga with Adriene)
- For office workers and those who are constantly sedentary (Neck, shoulder, upper body )
- Do joyful activities (i.e. watching movies, playing games, singing)
- Deep breathing
- Positive self-talk – Are you talking to yourself as a friend? Research shows that it can be helpful to put your name into your positive self-talk. i.e. “Jack, you just did an excellent presentation!”
- Focus on gratitude – Acknowledging what we are thankful for can help us generate pleasant emotions.
- Mindfulness
- Journaling
- Spending quality time with friends and family
- Talking to someone you trust
Other self-care tools:
Finch APP This is a cute and customizable self care pet app that guides people to use self-care strategies by linking them to rewards and growth for your pet! This app is free with an option for a premium subscription.
Headspace APP This is a powerful app for meditation practice. It includes a vast library of guided meditations for sleeping, stress, fitness, and daily practice. This app is subscription based after a 7-day free trial.
You feel like shit. This is a very powerful interactive flowchart that guides people through self-care steps. The questions will start with physical reasons and then go over emotions (feeling anxious, depressed, foggy, etc.). It might take you around one hour to follow each self-care step.
Additional Resources:
Your Healthiest Self: Wellness Toolkits | National Institutes of Health (NIH)
Emotional Wellness Toolkit | National Institutes of Health (NIH)
Managing Emotions in Times of Uncertainty & Stress | Coursera
Step 3: Find professional help if needed
Sometimes, our own strength and self-care strategies are not enough. If you are experiencing overwhelming stress, a challenge that seems too difficult, or symptoms you cannot change, it may be time to seek professional help. Talk to your primary care physician about your concerns or reach out directly to a licensed mental health provider.
The National Institute of Health also provides a checklist and a comprehensive fact sheet that can be a guide while looking for health care providers:
NIMH » My Mental Health: Do I Need Help?
NIMH » Taking Control of Your Mental Health: Tips for Talking With Your Health Care Provider
References
Coursera. (n.d.). Managing emotions in times of uncertainty & stress. https://www.coursera.org/learn/managing-emotions-uncertainty-stress
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (n.d.). Caring for your mental health. National Institute of Mental Health. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/caring-for-your-mental-health